end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
