drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
