You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
