There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
