i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
