I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
