Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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