What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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