So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
