So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
