Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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