were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
