Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
