I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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