we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
