You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
