if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
