I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
