Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
