I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
