I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
