Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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