Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
