i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Blood and glitter go together right?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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