masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
