the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
