I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
