Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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