well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
