I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
