he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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