We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
