How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
