capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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