Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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