i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
