well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
