Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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