she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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