i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
