Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So many bounce houses so little time
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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