That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
NoShamevember. You game?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
