Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
