all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
