Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
