Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Randomize
