I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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