you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
