So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
