I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
