The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you never un-have a 4some
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
