We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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