My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
