We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When did angry sex become our thing?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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