somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
