But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
