That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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